when its crashed

i usually have lot of words running in my head, wishing to immediately transfer it to my blog but that moment the page is on and when my ten fingers touch the keyboard; ready to type, my mind eventually goes blank.

ever since xmas i could feel that i was in major disappointment and slightly unhappy. i tried to comfort myself. i tried to be as optimistic as i could be. i kept telling myself its not a big deal, i dont care, its just a small matter that people actually dont worry bout it at all. even i myself felt it was a small matter but i really never thought that the impact would be this huge. it was so severe that at one point, i knew and i could hear my heart was crying in disappointment.

say i'm silly, perhaps i am, to be upset over a small matter but to know that i maybe unable to achieve what i've been setting my focus, you can never imagine that feeling unless you experience it.... it is so painful.

peace

how effective is meditation????? i guess i really need it to find peace in ma mind and soul.


anyways, xmas is coming!!!! but i've already got myself this year's xmas presents...hahahahaha!!!!!! cool stuff and damn, i love them very much so much!!!!



ah, OMG, just realise that my HAIR REACH MY MOUTH!!!!!!!!! this is SUPERBLY LONG for me..... unbelievable. this length wont last for long cause i plan to go for a trim real soon.


there is this weird thing, when its year end rashes seem to attack me. i am like typing halfway, scratch here, type again, scratch there.... damn, its so itchy and i know i shouldnt be scratching or else it will turn red and tiny lumps will appear @ rashes.... dammit, i cant continue anymore, its really itchy. AAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!