home sweet home

its always feel good to be at home. wake up at any time of the day and no worries about what to eat the next moment. hehehe.... =)

happy pigging to myself!!!!! hurray!!!!! even though for a week

you may not know but now you do

sometimes it doesnt has to be big thing to get great satisfaction. doesnt need much planning. doesnt need much effort. just a simple thing that never come across our minds can actually satisfied us a lot. let me give you an example where this action really gives me HUGE satisfaction.
warning : it may be a little gross hahaha....=)

have you ever stucked in a situation where you have bad stomach ache?

then have to kek and kek cause no appropriate place for you to answer the nature call?

its so bad that you can feel as if tornado and hurricane occur in it?

crossing your legs and bending your body and keep on kek?

soon body starts to shiver and you cant stand still?

eyes keep on closing and all sort of lines seen on the forehead?

tears begin to wet your eyes and slowly drop from the end of the eyes?

then you start to feel goosebumps and cold sweat pouring down? normal sweat tastes salty but cold sweat is tasteless.

and become speechless?

at that moment, ever thought peristalsis is such an effective and amazing process created by god. it slowly move the unwanted digested materials so smoothly towards the entrance.

everything turns worse when the unwanted digested materials getting nearer but you still trying hard to squeeze yourself and folding your body like a ball.....
.......
......
when you finally find the right spot,

~~~~~boosh~~~~~

that moment......

that second.....

unbelievably.....

......................aaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH...........

as if you have put the last dot on your assignment and push the whole damn pile of done work to the lecturer.......

as if you have hike up to the peak and shout out loud........

body soften as if no backbone supporting you.....

and

follow by a very long sigh of relief.......

-end-

thats a lil' moment of mine, it really makes me feel extremely goood.

last 4 days

lets sum up what happened since my last visit here.

on sunday, i was awake whole night to finish the hong kong drama series, moonlight resonance. from the 11th episode till 34th but because i had lab at 8.00am so i gotta stop there and i had a 40minutes sleep while waiting for the time to come. after the lab and other businesses, i continued the last 6 episodes and on monday itself i managed to watch the whole series. good job. haha!!!!!

on tuesday, i no longer wearing my so called weird attire (acco to the lecturer) note : only to that paticular class. kuai kuai wore baju kurung to her class. luckily she picked my group number and i got to present that day. it felt uneasy to keep the presentation till after hol. everything went fine,i even wished her 'selamat hari raya' at the end of the class and she sort of hugged me and said, 'kan cantik pakai macam ni...' so, everything got back to peaceful. a baju kurung enough to settle the whole damn thing. how easy!!! =)

other than that, nothing's special but i was glad i got to redeem my sleep for the last few days. from friday till sunday, my sleep was less than 10hours but now, everything been replaced. yey!

now, i just cant wait to go home and meet with my bunch of friends and have a fun time babi-q with them. cant wait to see anne cause i really miss her a lot.

yey but aduhai....

i shall declare that my 7 days mission SUDAH SELESAI DENGAN BERJAYA!!!!! wooohoooo.......

xxxxx

i did something stupid yesterday. a familiar but unknown number messaged me yesterday. i assumed its my friend i knew from pesta konvo. the friend of mine is a malay girl. such assumption was made because the way the message was typed very malay style and has smtg to do with the majlis buka puasa sekretariat pesta konvo. pesta konvo was where i knew her.

besides, i mean how was i to expect some stranger or not close friend said smtg like rindu you in msg. usually its friend and girl. but after 2 msges, i realised the one messaging me was not the one i thought and i stupidly assumed its her and jokingly replied rindu you jugak on the second reply cause she indeed a nice senior. moreover, she repeated she missed me in the second msg and feeling sympathy for not responding the first one, i replied. when reached to the 3rd or 4th msg, aduhai, its not my friend but some scary guy used to msg me!!!!!! as usual i ignored the msges like what i used to do. what a misunderstanding. luckily its messaging adn i can simply pretend nothing happened. aaaahhhh.....

7 days mission

yes!!!!! 3 days mission is now accomplished!!!!! congrats to myself. hahahaha.....

ok, now shall extend my mission to 7 days. so, 4 more days to go.

keep it up keep it up......

sh*t woman

if you follow my blog, exactly 2 weeks ago i was about to kutuk this lecturer which then i only labelled her as babi but now after the 10th class she is a mother f**ker. never in my life i use such term on someone moreover an educator, knowing that civilised ppl like me wont act in this way. i know its pretty mean but my patience has its limit. i'm not sure whether its totally my fault or she is indeed a mother f**ker. after all, i guess she already blacklisted me and prejudice towards me. its all happened since the first class.....

first class - she called me up and pulled me aside in front of the class. she told me in a good manner that i wasnt wearing the proper attire. she said my outfit not suited for a teacher and i looked not pro but weird and bukan-bukan. we had a chat and ok, fine. i admitted its my fault. admitted it because of my pants.

do bear in mind, i'm still wearing decently, just that i wasnt following the university etika pemakaian which was slack, covered shoes and shirt. and me on the other hand was wearing shirt (checked), shoes which was more to sports shoes ( kena tegur but still accepted), pants which pockets on both side on my knee ( itu adalah seluar jalan-jalan) and sweater which i think made me look more bukan-bukan.

having an optimistic mind, where the rest of the students started to curse and hate her, i assumed she's a normal lecturer cause she taught in my class and her tone was fine but in other classes of hers which my friends attended, she's hell devil, making everyone living in a miserable life. she checked on the attendance, blacklisted those absentee, shouting and commenting about students, pointing out problems by problems, lecturing those discipline things and explaning and scolding about assignments over and over again. she even scolded students that consulted her for assignment after the class. she insisted appointment and kept asking what did she say in class when they query bout the assignments. her voice was damn irritating. so did her face. musang tua look alike.

back to me, the following week, i kuai kuai wore slack but still with my shoes. however, she didnt say anything. so i assumed i was already properly dressed. week after i wore khakis cause its not a jeans and has no pockets everywhere and the rest still the same. nothing from her and again i made the same assumption. been wearing the same outfit for weeks...

suddenly, today, week 10, she busted me in front of the class. hell man!!!!! we sounded smtg like this :

mf (angry and loud): i've been warned you bout your attire but you still refuse to follow it. [i was looking at her innocently with my huh face. i was like what da shit man.] i told you not to wear like this but you stil wear it (sound smtg like that)

me : but this is not jeans. this is khakis! [controling myself]

mf : its stil jeans. i will not let you enter my class if you still dressed up improperly. [mf gets more angry. her voice level increased] i will penalize you from exam if you stil wearing like this!!!!

me : fine fine.

mf : no no, what fine fine. i'l take you to hep (hal ehwal pelajar) and see what they talk bout it. if they say ok then i'l accept it and [ i forgot what she said]

me : ok ok, i'm sorry and i wont wear it anymore next week. [dissatisfaction tone yet emotionless face]

mf : ....bla...bla...bla.... you are not allowed to present today. i wont let you present with improper attire.

i kept quiet and buat tak tau. muka sempoi and whatever.

xxxxx end of conversation xxxxxx

my face was expressionless and showing who cares, duh and ohk faces when she was scolding me. luckily my group was not picked by her and i didn't have to present today.

c'mon!

whats the problem??

whats so big deal with my attire?

what so huge discipline problem until wana penalize me from exam???

and why of all time, she only brought up the issue after so many weeks?

you know i was sort of mang and almost shouted at her and walked out of the class but i was very well controlled. maybe because i just woke up, stil blur, fasting as well so i didn't really listen to what she was shouting at me. besides, i was looking at her, staring into her eyes and found her funny when she was scolding me. after that she continued to scold others. i almost wana burst into laughters in front of her, if i did i wont hv to wake up early for her class anymore . hah!!! hurray??!!!

anyways, sigh, this f***ing creature i guess she's on the pre-menopouse stage. even in fasting month, she failed to control her emotions. berdosa betul!!!!!

god, i dont mean to blog such thing bout her but cant help it! at least i bring no harm to anyone. itupun saya dah kira baik hati, tak kutuk gila-gila dan sumpah dia. apa-apapun, ampunilah dosa-dosa saya.

3 days mission

my mission is set and i vow to accomplish it just for you. all i wish for is your safety and i know you will.

separuh lega

adalah penat untuk mencari maklumat dan membuat satu kepastian terhadap sesuatu terutama sesuatu yang tidak dikenali. penat tetapi kalau tidak mengumpul maklumat, hati berasa tidak selesa dan sering diburu kerisauan. sekarang sekurang-kurangnya boleh bernafas dengan hati yang lega dan aman apabila keraguan telah sedikit dikenalpasti. kini hanya tinggal masa untuk mengenalpastikannya.

~~gross~~

feeling so sick now, feel like vomitting, so gross, so geli and eeeewwww.....
i just visited a site which i shouldn't watched the pictures there even though i reached the age. its so sickenning and menjijikkan. please get those images away from my brain. feel so polluted looking at those pic. i'm really feeling terrible and horrible now. i'm afraid i'l puke anytime now. gosh!

saya berjaya berpuasa!

syabas! syabas! dan tahniah kepada saya. hahahaha....... ya BETUL! saya berjaya berpuasa hari ini. fuh, bangun awal pagi, seawal 5 pagi untuk sahur dan selepas itu tak dapat nak makan dan minum lagi, sekadar bertahan dan menunggu masa berjalan supaya cepat pukul 7.20pm. lemah gila saya, kepala pun macam pening-pening dan setiap langkah saya diperlahankan supaya saya tidak pitam tiba-tiba (agak hyperbola rasanya) tapi aduhai, dugaan ini adalah besar sangat BESAR untuk menahan lapar selama 13jam lebih. sungguhpun begitu, saya berjaya mengharunginya dan saya amat berbangga. tiada apa yang mustahil. hidup saya!!!!!!

still alive

i'm still survived after sitting for two exams straight. that will be from 8.30-10am then 10++ - 1250pm. not bad =)

lets start with the first paper - chemistry.

speechless. i think i screwed it but to be optimistic, well, i got the blanks all filled except for one. pretty not bad huh? ha!

second paper is biochemistry and microbiology. its not exactly mid term but more to final of biochemistry cause thats the end of this subject. after this will be microbiology and no more biochemistry. even in the final at the end of the semester, the questions only about microb. i hv much more confident answering this paper even though i just studied it yesterday evening. if only i hv more time and not falling sick or the exam is held another day or no chemistry exam that almost clashed with it, i know i will definitely do well at it. but anyhow, its over and no such thing as 'if only'.

i tried my best. right now fingers crossed and crossed and crossed for both.
biochemistry is way more interesting than organic chemistry.

another blurness discovery

when i fall sick, usually if i take good care of myself like swallow pills after meal, rest under blanket and sweat under it, then i'l be fine after that sleep or i'l be fine after a day or two. but this time, it took more than 5 days and i'm still coughing a llittle, nose still blocked with most of the time i hv to force the sticky yellow greenish mucous out and my voice - as usual duck alike voice.

so, i was wondering whats really wrong with me and my roommate actually freaked me out by pointing out the possibility of infected with some virus or some diseases since there are a few weird and scary illness these days.

so, i landed my butt on the chair and tried to figure out whats the problem which i ac couldn't do much. well what could i do anyways right i'm not the doctor. however, trying to be smart me well try to think smart of course, looking around making use of my eyes and at the same time diagnosing ----scanning--- with my brain---- and aha! if i'm the doctor, the doctor is good at giving prescription and so i took a look at my paracetamol. ~~~~~aduhai~~~~~ pil aku sudah expired oo! dush!
now the truth is revealed....

weak

falling sick is something i dont like because it gives a very uncomfortable feelings to almost every part of the body. its like sucking my energy out of me, leaving me strengthless, heavy head, blur vision, watery eyes, sore throat, an unknown aches. needless to say, it slower my body system causing my brain to work at a slower rate.
gosh, why of all time i fall sick now????? i still hv lotsa equations, cycles, words and whatsoever to chuck in my brain. no, to be more accurate, i havent chuck any into my brain cause i'm still doing assignment. yooo.....

r.i.p

next time

at first i wana talk bout this lecturer of mine that irritates me from every single aspects but i'm now ok with it cause i somehow got away the arghhh feelings after i went market to shop for vege and food stuff. somehow shopping does make someone feels good....haha...
well, wait til next tuesday when i enter her class again then i'l get the feel of commenting her.

oh, kimia...

another week fiiled with lab reports and mid term exams. this time i have 2 mid term exams one right after another. i dont know how my bloody brain gonna take it but it has no choice but to TAKE IT. i'm so sorry, my brain.

*sigh

something that not likable seems to stick easier. this saturday the exam i'm gonna hv both has smtg to do with chemistry. *sigh...longer one at 830am, i will be sitting for introductory to chemistry 2. dont bother to know how long the paper and so i dont know what time it will ends. whatever time, at 10am on the same day, i will be entering different hall and facing another subject called biochemistry and microbiology. aduhai, chemisty and chemistry.
truthfully chemistry aint bad but when it comes to organic i'm like...HELPPP ME!!!!!! until now i still dont know this chemical add to that chemical produce what chemical and what reaction result what... *sigh...another long one

guess i hv to hypnotize myself again like what i did for last sem....

chemistry is beautiful......
chemistry is beautiful......
chemistry is beautiful......
......aaaaaa.....beautiful.....

searching back the light in the darkness

i hv this something that i want to tell, know and do it but i'm afraid. i'm afraid i'l be named in the most annoying people list, embarass myself and get myself blacklisted for the whole of the entire life. but do that really matter???? i'm lost.
this whole damn thing is a mess. i just dont know how i get myself stucked in this. dammit!
i dont want this to continue but the more i wana save it the more i screwed it. i did gather my courage to (try) figure that out but a few attempts of mine didnt seem to be that successful. some even gave me hopes but the next moment it turned out to be something fantasy which i was unsure whether its true or false.
this mess is certainly a huge one. i lived in miserable when this mess firstly turned out. if i bravely take another step and i screw it again, turning the mess into no-turning back situation, i'm gone. it will haunt me for life. but if i successfully settle this mess, i tell you, i'l be living happily for the rest of my life even though the sky is dark all the time.
its the biggest and important decision ever and i really need to consider it thoroughly. all i need now is the correct timing cause time has proved to me my feelings.
so god, please give me hints and more hints and correct hints. guide me all the way..... i really need them