sick of human beings....

i guess its in nature that everyone has the urge to control everyone in the world and make them listen and follow. honestly, i’m tired of the nation news here. but politics are everywhere. i don’t hv to go far to witness the complexity of politics in my country, i can just see and experience it here in my everyday’s life.

one and closest is voluntary core i joined in my uni. in this core itself, politics and politics from the bottom till top and from top till bottom and it goes round and round. a simple decision from the top will affect the whole core and commands are commands for us. its not that i wana say the top people not smart but they are not in our positions and i understand its hard to come out with a wise and all people satisfactory decisions but at least...at least ask us what the hell that we want and tell us the plans, and not simply assume what we want and assume what’s best for us which actually not. this is what happened in my core now. its such a mess. it suppose to be one big family with cooperation, faith, love and care but now, jealousy, anger, hatred, frustration, dissatisfaction etc, all because of politics in upper organization and simply made decisions, all for the sake of their own and own platoon which caused the people at the bottom to suffer. and who’s the people at the bottom? WE! the core members from different batches.

i’m very calm now, perhaps i’m too tired for all these craps. in the core, i’m a follower so i’l play my part and be a good follower and do my best to whatever the commands come to me.

all i can say here is i’m tired. i’m tired of the people around. i’m tired of politics and i’m tired of those who think they are right all the time and those who think they have power and they can just simply control here and there. i’m just too tired to fight back and now i refuse to do anything but just stay back and do what i’m asked and what i’m supposed. giving in not because i’m afraid but because i don’t want to make things worse and increase the number of unhappy people.

just give me a break and stay away from me!

i’m sick of human beings. from the most unique and greatest creatures created by god, they just have to choose to turn out to be the most disastrous creatures. peculiar.

biological battery running low

its the fourth week of the semester and my energy level now is decreasing and keeps on decreasing. been training at night for the last 2 weeks. finally, performed on tuesday which was 2 days ago. it was good, we made an impressive opening which was essential to attract attentions and interests of the people there. however, i wasn’t satisfied with my performance that day. besides mentally exhausted, guess i was nervous cause the vip were just few steps away, ppl with cameras were just next to me and spectators were so so darn close that i was actually stunned for a few seconds. for goodness sake, my heart was pumping darn fast and my legs were actually shaking. my palms were sweating and i had difficulties to draw my baton. but thank goodness, i made no mistake which i still managed to maintain my great reputation in t-baton. hehe....

on the same day, i had biochemistry quiz. my phobia for chemistry still not over and this sem i hv to face 2 courses that have smtg to do with chemistry [gosh!, tak cukup lagi ke!] so, biochemistry and t-baton - 2 stuff to prepare and gotta chucked all the equations, theories and t-baton steps in my mind altogether on the day before.

less than 2 days, not even have enough time to charge myself and now training starts again every night from today onwards. this time is the preparation to perform in UiTM next week. trainings and trainings, programmes, quizzes, assignments and tests, all come one after another in a long continuous chain which is bonded well (wow, chemistry in my sentence! look at that man, chemistry!) anyways, i’m like halfway dying, not physically but mentally. i don’t know what the heck that tired my brain but i just unable to do much thinking now.

p/s i really feel very sorry for kas and aamreet that i probably cant go back anytime soon and most probably cant meet them too this year. forgive me, my fellow friends.....

unexpected gift from god - thank ya!

until now i still couldn’t believe the cert i was holding with my name (unfortunately wrongly spelt. cis!) was mine. never come across my mind that i would be receiving this cert. although the cert was made of some sort of low quality paper but the value of whatever printed on it was priceless and it did gave me a lil’ boost for this and coming sem. i’m very honoured to receive it even though i missed the cert presenting ceremony cause like i said earlier i never expect myself to be the one. so so!, now i’m really happy to share with everyone that reads this, the cert i received was written ‘pelajar terbaik kursus TBB 2033 semester 2 sesi 07/08 ’. i am really very proud of myself. Hehehehahahaha....... i do hope you can feel how i feel - the joy, the happines, the satisfaction and damn, it just feel so good. oh, TBB 2033 course is morphology and anatomy of plants. i guess every bio students would love to have such stuff.

shh shhh, come here come here (whispering) : what makes me more proud was that last sem there were 2 students with their pointers 4.00 and TBB was one of our major courses AND ME with pointers so much lower than them managed to beat top students in that. Goodness, it feels soooooooo gooooooody GOOD!!!! HahahahahahaHaahahahaHAHAHAHAHA.........ehem, cool down.

my team kata

now i can show you how my team did in last sukan perak. well, thats also our very last one after 4 times straight participating in that event (for me, jas and xin khai). wow, 4 times which equals to 8 years, dont play play... hahahaha....

here's our winning kata in women's team kata in super 4....enjoy!

in team kata, in the final round each team will have to perform bunkai. so did us and usually bunkai is what normally we the kata fighters look great and sometimes 'fake'. hehehe.... but when it comes to final, bunkai helps a lot in determining the champion. and with this bunkai, we (me, jas and amy) successfully grab the gold medals for the second times. so, may i present to you, our winning bunkai..... *tada*

i was seriously got kicked by jasmyin. ouch! painful one... btw,.. focus on the last technique where i rushed to jasmyin and squeezed her... how's my fall???? hehe, i love that the most.....

aduh...whats wrong with me?

was checking my bag for pendrive just now. searching and searching. searching and continue searching. digging and digging and continue digging. aik???? pendrive not in the place i normally kept??? shouldn't be. i was a lil nervous by then. when i managed to calm myself i did some mind tracking. darn!!!!! then i remembered i left it in shop and its been a week!!!!! i went to the shop last wednesday to do some printing for my report. was seriously rushing and gosh i forgot to cabut my pendrive out front the pc. what da!!!
going to check it out at the shop tmrw. please please...fingers crossed that its still there *sigh

almost *faint*

oh my god, piles of work waiting for me to settle. as usual too much to clear that i'm confused and lost in nowhere. cant find my way and dont know which first step should be taken which made all these worse and finally piles and piles kept on stacking. ahhh......

i'm stil young

as my hands went around my head.....,

i was shocked to touch something hardy and sort of roundish on my head.

as my hands explored more.....,

one more lump found somewhere on my neck.

i was seriously worried. the one on the back of my head was pretty huge, around 2cm in diameter. what made me more worried was that it was kinda swollen and its painful when pressed. another lump wasn’t that obvious as the previous one. this one only discovered by touching. i don’t know if i’m thinking negatively cause it is now bigger compared to few days ago and the more i explored my head the more lumps i could feel which i knew it might be caused by the funny structure of my skull. not only my head, even my neck i could feel its swollen and like my head, tiny lump was discovered too. i don’t know if its me being not sensitive to myself all this while or i’m slanting my thought after discovering one after another lumps, somehow i have bad feelings for those lumps. who knows they may turn to some dangerous stuff. i was actually wondering what if they were tumours and its harmful and me got admitted, undergo all kinds of operations, being bald, sick, coma, memory loss and leave the world at the young age..... ...... .......

but fortunately doctor said they weren’t. according to him, might be sebaceous gland and harmless. and so, i am safe. just hope the lumps are just lumps that will disappear soon and nothing more than that.

mi primera

the blog that i used to blog no longer a place i regard comfortable. i dont know why but the uneasy feelings just there. so, i land myself here in a not really well known place where i can pour almost everything out. still thinking whether to let my friends know bout the existence of this place. thinking just complicated the decision making of mine and obviously will lengthen the time comsuming and end up.... still with no decision made. *sigh* useless! >>>dush<<< *smack on forehead