next time

at first i wana talk bout this lecturer of mine that irritates me from every single aspects but i'm now ok with it cause i somehow got away the arghhh feelings after i went market to shop for vege and food stuff. somehow shopping does make someone feels good....haha...
well, wait til next tuesday when i enter her class again then i'l get the feel of commenting her.

oh, kimia...

another week fiiled with lab reports and mid term exams. this time i have 2 mid term exams one right after another. i dont know how my bloody brain gonna take it but it has no choice but to TAKE IT. i'm so sorry, my brain.

*sigh

something that not likable seems to stick easier. this saturday the exam i'm gonna hv both has smtg to do with chemistry. *sigh...longer one at 830am, i will be sitting for introductory to chemistry 2. dont bother to know how long the paper and so i dont know what time it will ends. whatever time, at 10am on the same day, i will be entering different hall and facing another subject called biochemistry and microbiology. aduhai, chemisty and chemistry.
truthfully chemistry aint bad but when it comes to organic i'm like...HELPPP ME!!!!!! until now i still dont know this chemical add to that chemical produce what chemical and what reaction result what... *sigh...another long one

guess i hv to hypnotize myself again like what i did for last sem....

chemistry is beautiful......
chemistry is beautiful......
chemistry is beautiful......
......aaaaaa.....beautiful.....

searching back the light in the darkness

i hv this something that i want to tell, know and do it but i'm afraid. i'm afraid i'l be named in the most annoying people list, embarass myself and get myself blacklisted for the whole of the entire life. but do that really matter???? i'm lost.
this whole damn thing is a mess. i just dont know how i get myself stucked in this. dammit!
i dont want this to continue but the more i wana save it the more i screwed it. i did gather my courage to (try) figure that out but a few attempts of mine didnt seem to be that successful. some even gave me hopes but the next moment it turned out to be something fantasy which i was unsure whether its true or false.
this mess is certainly a huge one. i lived in miserable when this mess firstly turned out. if i bravely take another step and i screw it again, turning the mess into no-turning back situation, i'm gone. it will haunt me for life. but if i successfully settle this mess, i tell you, i'l be living happily for the rest of my life even though the sky is dark all the time.
its the biggest and important decision ever and i really need to consider it thoroughly. all i need now is the correct timing cause time has proved to me my feelings.
so god, please give me hints and more hints and correct hints. guide me all the way..... i really need them