nowhere to be found

- vanishing from everyone - to a place nobody knows me - a place with nobody - leaving everything behind - taking care of nothing - and - nothing bothering me - only me - and - me - and - my thoughts - taking me deep to my heart - to my desire -

back from jungle

goodness! my previous blog looks so dull. thats the result of writing when i was sleepy. whole damn thing with words, words and more black words all together and i could imagine how people rethink and rethink to read it. but no choice, had to blog it as reference when i wana do report.

i'm tired too now, completed my pga training hours ago. oh! pga stands for pasukan gerakan am and the duty involves almost everything. thats y its am = general.

campsite was in hutan lipur sg. selisik. again, never heard of such a place. its in selangor, very near to selangor-perak border, therefore we went through behrang. the training was ok, not as bad as i imagine. we were given lectures for first and second days about 'kawad pengkalan', map reading, compass, survival tips in jungle which included types of traps, ways to make the traps, types of plants whether edible or beneficial during crucial hours and ways to handle/escape from invisible objects from other dimension. we cooked our own meals too and by now i learnt up the skills in cooking in the jungle with condition proper equipment provided. hehe.

whats cool bout this camp was that i got to blew off some explosive stuff. it sounded like a bomb and it felt like playing fireworks. i forgot whats it called. the sound just reminded me of chinese new year. the difference was that i was doing it legally. thats way more fun man.

there was this session where we were asked to find checkpoints in the jungle at night with lousy compass. it supposed to be exciting but unfortunately, the girls in my group too afraid and the guys happened to act gentlemen and protective and therefore, girls' movements were limited while the guys wander around, searching for missing checkpoints by their own most of the time. adeh.... how not cool and disappointed. ish!

another session was where we were dumped in the jungle individually near midnight. i guess it was around 15-20minutes, apparently nothing much could be done but to sit still, looking 360 deg, staring at the skysad no star was seen, listening to various of sound and also donating blood to quito. as it started to be real quiet, stupid stuff popped in my mind which made me pretty freaked out at times. but fortunately or unfortunately i wasnt disturbed. however, later then, my friends told me they saw a black figure droping by at the people at the back of me but stopped when the figure coming very near me. you see, we were situated a few meters away so we could sort of saw black figures of us. they thought it was one of the trainers checking on us but it shouldnt be. why?

1. the trainers explained they were up the hill all the time and people left up there could be the witness.
2. other trainers were out of the track and somewhere in the jungle at their own spots checking on us from far.
3. there were 63 of us which made the distance from the first to the last person rather far and our trainers would take time to come down to check on us.
4. i was sure no one was near me cause i was awake all the time and looking around.
   

aah....mEnaKUtkaN!
its scary to think how close the thing actually got so close to me IF what my friends said were true.

suksis practical training in teluk intan

just back from teluk intan. had practical over there for 4 days but to be exact its only a 2 day working experiences.

first day which was on 24th, the first place we landed was jabatan imegresin malaysia smtg seems not right with the spelling of imegresin. did i spell it wrongly? anyway, its in langkap, perak. erm, talking about langkap, i seriously had no idea there's such a place. well, there's where those illegal foreigners were sent and kept. i mean the jabatan imegresin not langkap the town. its not only in perak but in every state here. i even learnt a few new places from where they were built. for example, in terengganu - ajil and pahang - kemayan. weird unknown name. those captured stay there while waiting to be sent back to their countries or to be brought to the court for certain crimes they committed. most importantly was to send them back to where they belong. government actually wasted so much money on them, not only on the logistic, accomodation but, lucky people, they are provided with food. the money spent on them would bring more comfort for those poor and needed malaysians.
oh oh, the place!!!! the moment i looked around the area, first thing came to my mind was prison break. i couldnt stop myself from comparing the scenes in prison break and what i saw there. the atmosphere was quite similar to prison but yet its not a prison over there. for guys, there were 4 blocks and 1 for the women + kids. the block was a long building with nothing in there. toilets were outside. no blankets, no bed, no nothing but a pair of tahanan clothes for them. security there were not bad. there are lock at the door and outside the building was surrounded by usual metal sort of gate seen with blades on the top curling around from one end to another. moreover RELA workers were just outside the building guarding them. when i got the chance to visit the block in nearer distance, the place where they spend most of their time and also where they sleep, eat and hang around, i was thinking if michael in prison break has to break out from there, what will be the ways? i was even thinking if i so happen to be locked there, how am i suppose to get myself out. haha, guess i watched too much of that show.

second day was the first day of me working as and with the police in ipd hilir perak. i got a cool shift, 3pm-7pm and 3am - 7am for 2 continuous days. others were given 7am-11am & 7pm-11pm and 11am-3am & 11pm-3am.

first shift (3pm-7pm) - i was situated in bilik gerakan. thats the control room when you get to check details of every malaysians, the room where you get to listen to those messages/information through walkie talkie, receive calls from the public, to know the location of the patrol car/police and only the room where you av ethe power instruct the police in mpv (mobile patrol vehicle) to go from a place to another. i also got to know the system used in the force. i knew how to detect a person whether he's clean or wanted or used to commit crimes. also ways to detect the status of the vehicles whether they were owned, stolen or plate number changed as well as the owner of the vehicle and the activation date for raod tax. i got to read those messages sent trough rakan cop and reports done in hilir perak. its fun and i checked, i aint listed in wanted list, never commit any crime. in other words, i'm clean and clear - good citizen for sure! peace!

second shift (3am-7pm) - very excited to be working at this hour. this time i was located in teluk intan police station. because its late at night and the person in charge was so kind that he only let the guys to patrol and the girls stayed indoor. so 'kind' of him! so, basically i learnt to receive reports. i should say i learnt on my own. the police on duty not really explaining so to learn was to observe. from my observation, i guess i manage to conclude how the procedure was carried. then a man, policeman as well working in the lokap or you call that jail(?) kindly offered us a visit there. thats my first to see cells, criminals or suspects, visitors' room with phone and other stuff closely. its quite smelly cause they pee-d in their own cells. guess they were not that civilised to make a flush after their business. but again, its fun to see smtg that mostly and only can be seen on tv. bad thing was i had to bear with the smoke and the smell of their cigarettes. the police there were such heavy smokers. eew! i felt polluted (my lungs).

third shift (3pm-7pm) - this time i got to be out to town as i was located in mpv department. yup, another fun thing, got to sit in the patrol car and 'yau che hor'. this 'yau che hor' definitely different from usual one as i was sitting in a car printed 'polis', wearing my uniform and had the chance to put on bullet proof jacket. i definitely looked smart and needless to say, i was a police. during the patrol, got to learn how the police handled the public and certain situations and also applying the laws. at that time, managed to witness the police in charge saman a car. bisides that, got the chance to report to control room/ bilik gerakan informing the location of the car. its always fun to play with walkie talkie. hehe... later because there were 2 teenagers caught at the road block so the police in charge of me had to send them back to police station. so while waiting for them to pick me and my teammate, we checked and helped around at the road block. we checked on motorcyclists' id, license and road tax.

fourth shift (3m-7am) - was sent to hutan melintang police station, a 30 minutes drive place for ipd hilir perak. over there, got to join the police in during their bit, smtg similar to patrolling too. went around each and every corners of hutan melintang to ensure the safety. surprisingly, the people there were rich despite the name of the town. just found out that they earned a lot through the water resourses as they contributed almost 30% to the food supply (water resourses) in malaysia. therefore, i could see mostly big beautiful houses during the patrol. darn! unknown rich people. the drive around the housing areas took around an hour half. it was a great experience to see the places of others.

i'm really glad that i join suksis. i wouldnt get to experience all these if i'm not a police for now. its stil unsure whether police might be my choice in future but honestly it did increased my interest to become one.

tmrw will be the beginning of another challenging activity. its pga - training in the jungle. i'm quite excited but at the same time i'm pretty anxious and scared of the tiny invisible unwanted intruders only a lil. anyways, nothing to be afraid of. erm, ya. think nothing and will be nothing.

dreams

i' m curious. i'm always curious bout it. never not wondering whats it all about.

dreams????
as in those that only bump me when i sleep.

why?
why do i dream?
do they mean something? anything?
do they serve as some hints or what?
do they reflect on my life?
do they bring the previous memories back to me? like my past? last lifetimes?
do they indicate my future? few days from now? few years or next lifetimes?
do they tell me what i miss/want/wish most? that will be sad cause i only experience it from dreaming but better that nothing
or they just something that means nothing. just to bother my thoughts and make me curious like now?

how do dreams come to me?
from god?
my imaginations?
i really wish my curiosity can be cleared but if there is someone to tell me bout it, how true can it be? if there is a theory behind it, how far can i believe it? its a question with more questions. but i'm interested to know what others think bout it. it will be fun to share different perceptions expecially from different kinds of people.

pigging time!

feels good to know that its over. its true that when you feel down, more negative stuff will come.... and stack..... and stack..... and stack on you. thank god, i manage to push myself through it and here i am, smiling to myself, waving my 5th semester farewell. most important, i can breathe so much better now.

now its time to enjoy and i will be home with my pigging days soon. oh yea... even though not for long as my training and activities on next 2weeks.

happy pigging to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hard time

exam is like 8hours from now and i'm stil struggling with it. still hv few chapters to go equivalent to hundreds of slides.

i really feel miserable now and wish it will end asap.

what makes my night worse is that i'm reading chemistry and its organic chemistry that i hell take long time to figure out whats whats the words telling me. i cant read like a bullet train cause i will get myself in deep shit answering the paper then. hell!

i already prepared myself to be awake. if to be awake whole night then i will be since its my last paper but i hope not.

...........................

i'm exhausted, very.

hard to breathe well, really.

i dont feel good, extremely.

i want to cry but i cant - hv nothing to stimulate my tears.

please dont be lazy to poo

humans contain 10^14 of bacterial cells compared to 10^13 of human cells. 10% of our dry weight is bacterial and they are mostly in large intestine. our feces or shit to be common is 1/3 bacteria.

so! if you dont like to pangsai or if you dont pangsai then you are penternak bacteria. penternak do earn large sum of money but penternak bacteria, i doubt it unless you are scientist that smart enough to make good use of yourself or the bacteria you ternak interest the scientists then you probably will be rich. if not, i'm sure that you gonna make doctor earns large sum instead.

we are from bacteria????

according to science, what organisms today are all evolved from bacteria. in other words, human beings known as the most advanced organisms also evolved from bacteria. if you follow biodiversity closely, every living things are connected. the fact is depends on how far or closely related because one organism is evolved from another and it continued to evolve and evolve to form new and many more species, which explain the reasons of the various species we have today.

digesting the facts and it should be something like.... our ancestors are specifically not the ancestors we think they are if for chinese will be chinaman back in china and according to surnames but we sort of sharing the same ancestors as pigs, dogs, elephants, ants, worms, scorpions, fish, sponges, starfish, mushroom, plankton and whatever living organisms you name it. because our ancestors of all ancestors are bacteria called cyanobacteria!

aha!

well, theoretically it maybe a yes esp humans since we are the most advanced organisms so we evolve from animals and also all the living organisms in the world but dude, we dont call the pig or the grass, 'greatgreatgreatgreaaaaaaaat......grandfather', do we? adeh.

anyways, thats not suppose to be the right way to analyse the facts of science but its interesting though. alright, gotta back to microbes and will see what else to share.

obsession

i have to admit that i'm really obsessed about it - my watch. yea..my orange watch as you can see, its displayed just beside but its upside down.

somehow, i cant take my eyes off it. i like it so so much and i thank my mum for that. oh, papa too cause he paid for it. muaks*

i can actually stare at it and watch every needles move, listening to every tick... tick... tick..., from seconds to minutes which then make me realise that the time is moving as it is really moving and keeps on moving and (me!) actually wasting my time. hell ya.

12 days war

it comes again...

no choice but to face it.

its late, still have a lot to cover...

but its okay,

i gotta be calm and believe its never too late.

only 12days to struggle.....

get the nonsense outta my brain

and get the words in my head

12 days

and thats the end of it till it comes the next time

have faith in myself

and do it!

set my aim

and do it!!!!!

funny coursemate

yesterday was my university election day. it wasnt as merry as last year but obviously there were students that competing and voting. well, i was one that voted.
when i was blogging the previous blog at the cafe yesterday, there were this group of students mostly were the students representatives for last year, students that sort of actively involved in the university's program and students that competiting for the this year's election. they loved to hang around the cafe and i was so coincidently there. when they finished their food and businesses, duh, they went off and one of them who happened to be my coursemate/classmate walked passed me and said,

' thanks for your vote!'

i was like a lil' shocked and replied,

'huh? macam mana kamu tahu?'

and she said,

'well, i know you. thanks for your support and a broad smile'

off she went with that noisy group.

i was amused with her confidence that she actually thought i was voting for her. damn damn. i bet she didnt know that there were rumours among the coursemates of not voting for her. even her clique told us that they wouldnt be voting for her so how did she expect us or me to vote for her to represent our faculty. question mark????

greeeeeeen

when i was on the way back from kl on sunday, there was this place that i drove passed. its a place with lake at first then trees and hills all around. i felt good surrounded by them. the green comforted my eyes. perhaps its psychology cause i felt fresh even though there were cars that released pretty thick black smoke due to the cars' quality the road is up and downhill you see. throughout my way, there were people at the roadsides. some were out for a day out, some went fishing, swimming and other activities and some even with buckets to fill in water from the pipe, i didnt know why but i guess they had reasons or beliefs about the water. i had the urge to stopby and wanted to stare at the nature. but for safety i decided not to. at that times, i really wished the road would never end. it was really a peaceful and harmony moment. here are some photos i managed to capture....

stay silence

words are in fact very powerful especially words that came out from one without filtration. those words came out so fast and straight forward that they actually hurt someone or anyone. *sigh.... me again i'm talking about here. sometimes i just couldnt control myself especially when i got so comfortable with my close/ good friends that whatever we felt like saying, we just said it without much considerations. we critized each other 'kao kao' and all we had were laughters cause we knew we were joking, we wouldn't mind and its for our own good.

it was not a bad thing until i brought that attitude back to my campus and hostel. the first week itself when i got back after raya break, i made my friend/ex-roommate cried. we were talking and joking around until a part where i pointed out smtg about her, the whole conversations went not right. please...they knew how straight forward i was and besides she was nicely joking with me and moreover she was my roommate, i assumed she should at least knew me a little more than others but hell NO. those listenning to the conversations knew i was telling the truth but the way i spoke it was quite harsh to her cause i didnt feel its harsh. moreover because all these while no one ever commented her so she took it for granted and now i spoke it out which caused the thing to become worse. its so true that 'siapa makan cili, dia terasa pedasnya'.

when i realised i should kept my mouth shut, i knew its oo-oh,damn. i nicely apologized to her but she ignored me. ah, whatever. later when i off for training, she cried in the office. during training, my coach mentioned to my platoon of her crying and asked whoever that made her cried to comfort her. i was like what da! i am so not going to do so. its not my fault and besides i apologized. in her dream to want me to comfort her. then during lunch, the case was mentioned again by my officer. she asked me to say smtg nice and comfort her. i was again like hah, boleh blah!

you may think whats the big problem to go and comfort her and get the mess cleared. ego? it had nothing or maybe a little to do with my ego. but one, i apologized because i knew she couldnt accept my words. two, what i said was true thats why she cried because she felt bad. three, when asked for reason of her crying, she only explained half. she didnt tell the whole damn thing. and four, its not my fault totally. and so i decided to just ignored the whole incident.

i thought it only happened to not close friend but *sigh, best friend pun terasa. speechless.

so, you only want me to say words that you like to hear and not words that what i feel???

i know that the whole main point here is to think before i speak, construct and reconstruct my sentences or convey it in a better way but i tel you, if i think i wont speak it out anymore.

i understand that different people have different sensitivities. but too bad i only realise it when it occur. i'm sorry that comforting is hard for me especially when its set in my mind that its not fault and not feeling guilty. i dont expect people to change or accept my style. so i control myself but neither do i can change in a short time. in the meantime, just keep my mouth shut, ignore everything and be cool.

beauty of the space

have you ever look at the moon so close that even though there are holes and holes on the moon, it is still very beautiful??? i did!!!!!! and i tel you, it was darn amazing how technology today can pulled me so much closer of the moon to my sight. its an fascinating moment and i was amused.

besides moon, i learned that the shiny thing at the sky which all the while i labelled it as star was actually jupiter. yea, its jupiter, the fifth planet in our milky way!!!!!!! if we can see jupiter, of course we can see mars and venus as well. mars can be seen around january or early of the year. oh, even saturn. a man showed me the photos of saturn he took with his camera, god dammit, it was beautiful.....in case you forget saturn is the most beautiful planet. you know the one with the ring. oooo....

apart from those, i was taken for a ride to space by sight to explore those creations that god knows their existense. now, i know what is nebula, types of nebula, how many constellations and a brief view of the space. everything was so mesmerizing.

so, do you know what is nebula? it is where the stars are born. there are open nebula, globular nebula and orion nebula. why orion nebula? cause it is at the orion erm, know what is orion right?

i always have this dream to have a house small or medium one will do and beside it is a large wide field with trees and river at the side and hills can be seen from far. so green, fresh and relax where i can lay down and look at the sky with no worries. it is better if there's such place in north pole cause there's where we can see polaris upright and aurora but its north pole i'm talking about. aaah, dream.

using three different telescopes above to capture those photos below. yup, i took the photos with my camera phone

cool....i love it

never in my life i have such a big bruise like i have now. say me crazy but it feels good. haha! thanks to paintball the ball. it hit my fleshy thigh and left a sun look alike bruise. the moment the bullet hit me, i was like dammit but it gave me a great feeling. i didn't know why perhaps since small i like bruises and my hobby is pressing/rubbing whether my own or others' bruises. i like the pain and because i kept pressing my bruises thats y they never last long.

back to paintball, less than 2 min, i was shot again at the side of my body but it didnt hurt surprisingly. was doubting what people said as it wasn't as painful as described but actually i was saved by the jacket. adeh....how lucky... i like paintball. its fun and exciting regarding to shoot or being shot. and its not only about games, its about strategies, shooting skills and teamwork. something like war.

after 2 hours

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after 6 hours

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day 2, after 29 hours

tak ada kesedaran sivik langsung....

people nowadays are getting more uncivilised, irresponsible and selfish even though most of us are more educated. who to be blamed?

• teachers?
• parents?
• the individual?

whatever it is, the individual has to be the one to be blamed. they have brains. they go to schools. they are taught with all sort of moral values. but because of that kind of tak ada kesedaran sivik punya orang, others became the victim of their act.

okay, straight to the point, i seriously seriously seriously dont understand why the advance animal known as human beings love to leave their trolleys wherever they feel like it and not the place where they are supposed to be after shopping.

?????

??????

taiping tesco for example, there are many places specially provided for the customers to park the trolley after been used thank you tesco but if you are aware, most of them just put the trolly aside favourite spot - beside their cars even though the trolley parking spaces just a few steps away. not only one but many spaces are provided k!!!

what da!!!!

does it take that much effort/energy/time/whatever to push the trolley to the provided place? will they die for doing so? will that cost them a single cent? will that harm them? NO! what happen to the people of today? how much time/energy/fats they can save from not pushing the trolleys back to place?

and because of some rather keep their fats accumulated than walk a few steps, some even worse where they 'kindly' pushed but halfway leaving the trolley nowhere and thus it caused my aunt's car to be the victim of the selfish and irresponsible action. just how unlucky it would be to be knocked by the trolley left by some horrible people today. i was driving out from tesco to taiping central. at that junction, i was terribly shocked by a loud bang. first thought - sei, did i knock on someone, motorcycle or car? wei, i drive very carefully wor. worse when had my mum in the car with me, she made the bang even louder and my heart almost dropped. second thought - wei, how can this happen? i'm a cautious driver. luckily i'm stil young and still able to accept it. if not i will be the one got killed. well, what exactly happened was a trolley rolled down and knocked the car. the car was quite badly knocked and left two deep scratches for memories thanks a lot to the person that simply left the trolley. so kind of you. the mechanic must paid you a lot for that (with a 'smile'). adeh, what a good timing man. it wouldnt happen if i go to toilet cause my bladder was full that time but i refused to empty it. so, my fault??? of course not! guess its all nicely arranged and the incident was fated.

setiap yang berlaku ada hikmah di sebaliknya....

hikmah di sebalik kejadian ini adalah......

belum tahu.

if i know the trolley was left by one of the parents of my future students, then the kids will repay for what the parents had done. hahaha....serve you right! just kidding. i'm pro. i dont do such thing.

home sweet home

its always feel good to be at home. wake up at any time of the day and no worries about what to eat the next moment. hehehe.... =)

happy pigging to myself!!!!! hurray!!!!! even though for a week

you may not know but now you do

sometimes it doesnt has to be big thing to get great satisfaction. doesnt need much planning. doesnt need much effort. just a simple thing that never come across our minds can actually satisfied us a lot. let me give you an example where this action really gives me HUGE satisfaction.
warning : it may be a little gross hahaha....=)

have you ever stucked in a situation where you have bad stomach ache?

then have to kek and kek cause no appropriate place for you to answer the nature call?

its so bad that you can feel as if tornado and hurricane occur in it?

crossing your legs and bending your body and keep on kek?

soon body starts to shiver and you cant stand still?

eyes keep on closing and all sort of lines seen on the forehead?

tears begin to wet your eyes and slowly drop from the end of the eyes?

then you start to feel goosebumps and cold sweat pouring down? normal sweat tastes salty but cold sweat is tasteless.

and become speechless?

at that moment, ever thought peristalsis is such an effective and amazing process created by god. it slowly move the unwanted digested materials so smoothly towards the entrance.

everything turns worse when the unwanted digested materials getting nearer but you still trying hard to squeeze yourself and folding your body like a ball.....
.......
......
when you finally find the right spot,

~~~~~boosh~~~~~

that moment......

that second.....

unbelievably.....

......................aaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH...........

as if you have put the last dot on your assignment and push the whole damn pile of done work to the lecturer.......

as if you have hike up to the peak and shout out loud........

body soften as if no backbone supporting you.....

and

follow by a very long sigh of relief.......

-end-

thats a lil' moment of mine, it really makes me feel extremely goood.

last 4 days

lets sum up what happened since my last visit here.

on sunday, i was awake whole night to finish the hong kong drama series, moonlight resonance. from the 11th episode till 34th but because i had lab at 8.00am so i gotta stop there and i had a 40minutes sleep while waiting for the time to come. after the lab and other businesses, i continued the last 6 episodes and on monday itself i managed to watch the whole series. good job. haha!!!!!

on tuesday, i no longer wearing my so called weird attire (acco to the lecturer) note : only to that paticular class. kuai kuai wore baju kurung to her class. luckily she picked my group number and i got to present that day. it felt uneasy to keep the presentation till after hol. everything went fine,i even wished her 'selamat hari raya' at the end of the class and she sort of hugged me and said, 'kan cantik pakai macam ni...' so, everything got back to peaceful. a baju kurung enough to settle the whole damn thing. how easy!!! =)

other than that, nothing's special but i was glad i got to redeem my sleep for the last few days. from friday till sunday, my sleep was less than 10hours but now, everything been replaced. yey!

now, i just cant wait to go home and meet with my bunch of friends and have a fun time babi-q with them. cant wait to see anne cause i really miss her a lot.

yey but aduhai....

i shall declare that my 7 days mission SUDAH SELESAI DENGAN BERJAYA!!!!! wooohoooo.......

xxxxx

i did something stupid yesterday. a familiar but unknown number messaged me yesterday. i assumed its my friend i knew from pesta konvo. the friend of mine is a malay girl. such assumption was made because the way the message was typed very malay style and has smtg to do with the majlis buka puasa sekretariat pesta konvo. pesta konvo was where i knew her.

besides, i mean how was i to expect some stranger or not close friend said smtg like rindu you in msg. usually its friend and girl. but after 2 msges, i realised the one messaging me was not the one i thought and i stupidly assumed its her and jokingly replied rindu you jugak on the second reply cause she indeed a nice senior. moreover, she repeated she missed me in the second msg and feeling sympathy for not responding the first one, i replied. when reached to the 3rd or 4th msg, aduhai, its not my friend but some scary guy used to msg me!!!!!! as usual i ignored the msges like what i used to do. what a misunderstanding. luckily its messaging adn i can simply pretend nothing happened. aaaahhhh.....

7 days mission

yes!!!!! 3 days mission is now accomplished!!!!! congrats to myself. hahahaha.....

ok, now shall extend my mission to 7 days. so, 4 more days to go.

keep it up keep it up......

sh*t woman

if you follow my blog, exactly 2 weeks ago i was about to kutuk this lecturer which then i only labelled her as babi but now after the 10th class she is a mother f**ker. never in my life i use such term on someone moreover an educator, knowing that civilised ppl like me wont act in this way. i know its pretty mean but my patience has its limit. i'm not sure whether its totally my fault or she is indeed a mother f**ker. after all, i guess she already blacklisted me and prejudice towards me. its all happened since the first class.....

first class - she called me up and pulled me aside in front of the class. she told me in a good manner that i wasnt wearing the proper attire. she said my outfit not suited for a teacher and i looked not pro but weird and bukan-bukan. we had a chat and ok, fine. i admitted its my fault. admitted it because of my pants.

do bear in mind, i'm still wearing decently, just that i wasnt following the university etika pemakaian which was slack, covered shoes and shirt. and me on the other hand was wearing shirt (checked), shoes which was more to sports shoes ( kena tegur but still accepted), pants which pockets on both side on my knee ( itu adalah seluar jalan-jalan) and sweater which i think made me look more bukan-bukan.

having an optimistic mind, where the rest of the students started to curse and hate her, i assumed she's a normal lecturer cause she taught in my class and her tone was fine but in other classes of hers which my friends attended, she's hell devil, making everyone living in a miserable life. she checked on the attendance, blacklisted those absentee, shouting and commenting about students, pointing out problems by problems, lecturing those discipline things and explaning and scolding about assignments over and over again. she even scolded students that consulted her for assignment after the class. she insisted appointment and kept asking what did she say in class when they query bout the assignments. her voice was damn irritating. so did her face. musang tua look alike.

back to me, the following week, i kuai kuai wore slack but still with my shoes. however, she didnt say anything. so i assumed i was already properly dressed. week after i wore khakis cause its not a jeans and has no pockets everywhere and the rest still the same. nothing from her and again i made the same assumption. been wearing the same outfit for weeks...

suddenly, today, week 10, she busted me in front of the class. hell man!!!!! we sounded smtg like this :

mf (angry and loud): i've been warned you bout your attire but you still refuse to follow it. [i was looking at her innocently with my huh face. i was like what da shit man.] i told you not to wear like this but you stil wear it (sound smtg like that)

me : but this is not jeans. this is khakis! [controling myself]

mf : its stil jeans. i will not let you enter my class if you still dressed up improperly. [mf gets more angry. her voice level increased] i will penalize you from exam if you stil wearing like this!!!!

me : fine fine.

mf : no no, what fine fine. i'l take you to hep (hal ehwal pelajar) and see what they talk bout it. if they say ok then i'l accept it and [ i forgot what she said]

me : ok ok, i'm sorry and i wont wear it anymore next week. [dissatisfaction tone yet emotionless face]

mf : ....bla...bla...bla.... you are not allowed to present today. i wont let you present with improper attire.

i kept quiet and buat tak tau. muka sempoi and whatever.

xxxxx end of conversation xxxxxx

my face was expressionless and showing who cares, duh and ohk faces when she was scolding me. luckily my group was not picked by her and i didn't have to present today.

c'mon!

whats the problem??

whats so big deal with my attire?

what so huge discipline problem until wana penalize me from exam???

and why of all time, she only brought up the issue after so many weeks?

you know i was sort of mang and almost shouted at her and walked out of the class but i was very well controlled. maybe because i just woke up, stil blur, fasting as well so i didn't really listen to what she was shouting at me. besides, i was looking at her, staring into her eyes and found her funny when she was scolding me. after that she continued to scold others. i almost wana burst into laughters in front of her, if i did i wont hv to wake up early for her class anymore . hah!!! hurray??!!!

anyways, sigh, this f***ing creature i guess she's on the pre-menopouse stage. even in fasting month, she failed to control her emotions. berdosa betul!!!!!

god, i dont mean to blog such thing bout her but cant help it! at least i bring no harm to anyone. itupun saya dah kira baik hati, tak kutuk gila-gila dan sumpah dia. apa-apapun, ampunilah dosa-dosa saya.

3 days mission

my mission is set and i vow to accomplish it just for you. all i wish for is your safety and i know you will.

separuh lega

adalah penat untuk mencari maklumat dan membuat satu kepastian terhadap sesuatu terutama sesuatu yang tidak dikenali. penat tetapi kalau tidak mengumpul maklumat, hati berasa tidak selesa dan sering diburu kerisauan. sekarang sekurang-kurangnya boleh bernafas dengan hati yang lega dan aman apabila keraguan telah sedikit dikenalpasti. kini hanya tinggal masa untuk mengenalpastikannya.

~~gross~~

feeling so sick now, feel like vomitting, so gross, so geli and eeeewwww.....
i just visited a site which i shouldn't watched the pictures there even though i reached the age. its so sickenning and menjijikkan. please get those images away from my brain. feel so polluted looking at those pic. i'm really feeling terrible and horrible now. i'm afraid i'l puke anytime now. gosh!

saya berjaya berpuasa!

syabas! syabas! dan tahniah kepada saya. hahahaha....... ya BETUL! saya berjaya berpuasa hari ini. fuh, bangun awal pagi, seawal 5 pagi untuk sahur dan selepas itu tak dapat nak makan dan minum lagi, sekadar bertahan dan menunggu masa berjalan supaya cepat pukul 7.20pm. lemah gila saya, kepala pun macam pening-pening dan setiap langkah saya diperlahankan supaya saya tidak pitam tiba-tiba (agak hyperbola rasanya) tapi aduhai, dugaan ini adalah besar sangat BESAR untuk menahan lapar selama 13jam lebih. sungguhpun begitu, saya berjaya mengharunginya dan saya amat berbangga. tiada apa yang mustahil. hidup saya!!!!!!

still alive

i'm still survived after sitting for two exams straight. that will be from 8.30-10am then 10++ - 1250pm. not bad =)

lets start with the first paper - chemistry.

speechless. i think i screwed it but to be optimistic, well, i got the blanks all filled except for one. pretty not bad huh? ha!

second paper is biochemistry and microbiology. its not exactly mid term but more to final of biochemistry cause thats the end of this subject. after this will be microbiology and no more biochemistry. even in the final at the end of the semester, the questions only about microb. i hv much more confident answering this paper even though i just studied it yesterday evening. if only i hv more time and not falling sick or the exam is held another day or no chemistry exam that almost clashed with it, i know i will definitely do well at it. but anyhow, its over and no such thing as 'if only'.

i tried my best. right now fingers crossed and crossed and crossed for both.
biochemistry is way more interesting than organic chemistry.

another blurness discovery

when i fall sick, usually if i take good care of myself like swallow pills after meal, rest under blanket and sweat under it, then i'l be fine after that sleep or i'l be fine after a day or two. but this time, it took more than 5 days and i'm still coughing a llittle, nose still blocked with most of the time i hv to force the sticky yellow greenish mucous out and my voice - as usual duck alike voice.

so, i was wondering whats really wrong with me and my roommate actually freaked me out by pointing out the possibility of infected with some virus or some diseases since there are a few weird and scary illness these days.

so, i landed my butt on the chair and tried to figure out whats the problem which i ac couldn't do much. well what could i do anyways right i'm not the doctor. however, trying to be smart me well try to think smart of course, looking around making use of my eyes and at the same time diagnosing ----scanning--- with my brain---- and aha! if i'm the doctor, the doctor is good at giving prescription and so i took a look at my paracetamol. ~~~~~aduhai~~~~~ pil aku sudah expired oo! dush!
now the truth is revealed....

weak

falling sick is something i dont like because it gives a very uncomfortable feelings to almost every part of the body. its like sucking my energy out of me, leaving me strengthless, heavy head, blur vision, watery eyes, sore throat, an unknown aches. needless to say, it slower my body system causing my brain to work at a slower rate.
gosh, why of all time i fall sick now????? i still hv lotsa equations, cycles, words and whatsoever to chuck in my brain. no, to be more accurate, i havent chuck any into my brain cause i'm still doing assignment. yooo.....

r.i.p

next time

at first i wana talk bout this lecturer of mine that irritates me from every single aspects but i'm now ok with it cause i somehow got away the arghhh feelings after i went market to shop for vege and food stuff. somehow shopping does make someone feels good....haha...
well, wait til next tuesday when i enter her class again then i'l get the feel of commenting her.

oh, kimia...

another week fiiled with lab reports and mid term exams. this time i have 2 mid term exams one right after another. i dont know how my bloody brain gonna take it but it has no choice but to TAKE IT. i'm so sorry, my brain.

*sigh

something that not likable seems to stick easier. this saturday the exam i'm gonna hv both has smtg to do with chemistry. *sigh...longer one at 830am, i will be sitting for introductory to chemistry 2. dont bother to know how long the paper and so i dont know what time it will ends. whatever time, at 10am on the same day, i will be entering different hall and facing another subject called biochemistry and microbiology. aduhai, chemisty and chemistry.
truthfully chemistry aint bad but when it comes to organic i'm like...HELPPP ME!!!!!! until now i still dont know this chemical add to that chemical produce what chemical and what reaction result what... *sigh...another long one

guess i hv to hypnotize myself again like what i did for last sem....

chemistry is beautiful......
chemistry is beautiful......
chemistry is beautiful......
......aaaaaa.....beautiful.....

searching back the light in the darkness

i hv this something that i want to tell, know and do it but i'm afraid. i'm afraid i'l be named in the most annoying people list, embarass myself and get myself blacklisted for the whole of the entire life. but do that really matter???? i'm lost.
this whole damn thing is a mess. i just dont know how i get myself stucked in this. dammit!
i dont want this to continue but the more i wana save it the more i screwed it. i did gather my courage to (try) figure that out but a few attempts of mine didnt seem to be that successful. some even gave me hopes but the next moment it turned out to be something fantasy which i was unsure whether its true or false.
this mess is certainly a huge one. i lived in miserable when this mess firstly turned out. if i bravely take another step and i screw it again, turning the mess into no-turning back situation, i'm gone. it will haunt me for life. but if i successfully settle this mess, i tell you, i'l be living happily for the rest of my life even though the sky is dark all the time.
its the biggest and important decision ever and i really need to consider it thoroughly. all i need now is the correct timing cause time has proved to me my feelings.
so god, please give me hints and more hints and correct hints. guide me all the way..... i really need them

merdeka

happy national day malaysians!!!!

so sad that this year’s celebration was so much not merrier compared to last year. just because its 51 years old and thus it wasn’t celebrated as grand as big 50. *sigh, so malaysia.

whatever..., put that aside, cause all i wanted to say here now was that after being malaysian for 22 years and 10 days, i finally stepped on dataran merdeka on the national day.

fuh! the patriotism thing was rushing in my blood when i was watching the parade, admiring the people in their smart uniforms, impressed by the vehicles used in pdrm and army, amazed by the flying helicopters and jets in the sky and standing proudly singing all the songs played. it would feel better if i had jalur gemilang in my hands then i can kibar-kibarkannya... erm, its also the day i got the closest view ever at yang dipertuan agong and permaisuri; pm and wife; and also deputy pm and wife.

in such big event, as usual majority seen was the malays. they really put the effort to bring their kids there. other than that, foreigners would be the second most seen after the malays. can you believe it? perhaps if you already figured that out.

foreigners actually had more interests in our country compared to the people staying here calling themselves malaysians. they actually paid more attention to our cultures.

what happen to the chinese?????
what happen to the indians?????
what happen to the sikhs?????
what happen to the sabahan and sarawakians?????

where?????
at home? sleeping? watching tv? surfing? shopping mall enjoying merdeka sales instead?

just hope and assume that they joined the state, district and school level celebrations since dataran was so far. after all, patriostism was not shown by just attending the celebrations but its built in the heart of each and everyone.

a lil' of politic

for those that still not updated with malaysia politic, here i can tel you a tiny piece of the most recent news. anwar ibrahim is now successfully back to the politic in malaysia. yes, he won in permatang pauh election today. well, congrats?
i dont know whether its something to be celebrated like pkr members or something to be afraid like bn ppl. i'm lost and fail to analyse even though i know as a citizen here i hv to be aware of what exactly going on here. moreover, i'm no longer a school kid but mahasiswi and also soon-to-be educator, i hv to know, i hv to hv a clear view and able to justify. but truthfully, i'm clueless. shall let time tells which party is really fighting for good. and i hope the best for my country cause i love my country a lot.

the day

its my BIG day today - the day where my friends taking full advantages to critize me old, talk less nonsense, stop acting like a kid, be mature and stuff equivalent to those, the day where i can have wishes more than any other days, the day where i receive loads of wishes from various people, the day where i feel happy for no reason, the day where i put a smile on my face suddenly and also not forgotten the day where my chances of my photos/name to be displayed in orbituary segment getting higher.
apart from all these, i'm grateful to god for giving me all that i have today whether livings or nonlivings things; what i used to have; and moments i used to go through which now called memories. most importantly i'm thankful that now less than an hour, in one of the wishes in my short term list, though it did not come true completely, it almost fulfilled - good enough to get my heart smiling =)
well, wishes in my long term list will for sure consuming longer time as the effects will only be seen as time passes yes, i understand that god. and so all i need is faith!
ok, last but not least, for those that wished me and will be wishing me, whether you will read this or not or whether you know the existance of this blog or not, i thank all of you from the bottom of my little heart. *hugs*

thanks kas...

i told you today is a nice day and how good i felt this morning to start my day - its true!
i got my bday cake 2 days earlier and the organiser was kasturi a/p paramananda. its kasturi - my childhood friend @ my schoolmates @ my buddies/ best friends!!!!! and the friend that i met only once a year now.
i was so touched, kas actually took the effort to send messages to whoever (almost to me) to organise a lil' surprise bday party for me which i thought its only a tiny gathering before everyone goes off this week. the surprise thing really worked on me cause i never expect that. not sure whether it showed how silly or insensitive or blur of me but who cares, as long as it turned out to be successful.

hehe....
its supposed to be 1pm gathering. as usual punctual me waited pretty long for kas and >>doosh>> we went. in the car when i told kas that i would be going back on friday instead on wedn like i used to tel her, her reactions was so ARRRGHHHH....she shouted, 'chuah, i'm so gonna kill you. grhhh, i wana kill you!!!!!!' i was like ermm..guess she had some plan for me. we reached at 145pm and we were the EARLIEST! so, i totally ignored the first hint that i was quite smart to figure out. anyways, being earliest was smtg i expected cause no one sent msges to scold me. gosh! then, saw rekka. she was there few seconds after us. we settled down and waitedddddd....... cheah not in, aamreet with her excuses and jas nowhere to be found. DARN, no wonder kas was talking to rekka in tamil! a'ah, thats how rekka knew the plan and not me.

cis!
we continue waiting and waiting. kas took my phone and got goay's number through my phone WITHOUT ME KNOWING. i thought she was admiring it. aduhai.... then kas asked me to msg those i msged day before and asked me to scold them for being late and i did. after more than half an hour, at last goay was seen walking in with her smiles (as usual). when goay was around, she suddenly picked up the idea to force jiem to join us. and we happily kutuk jiem. ahaha.... till then, everything looked so normal to me but its actually NOT with kas and her plan. out of the blue in our conversation, kas cut in and asked me,' do you like chocolate? '

i was like, ' huh? err, not really.'
after an hour, surprisingly i remembered the car meter was almost up and i told kas that i was going to add it. she told me its ok cause she's going off soon to her friend's place to drop him something. i was curious so i asked where and wondered would she be back. and she simply replied lake view and convincingly said,' yes, i will be back.'

by then i stil had no clue bout the surprise thing plan. i asked cause i followed kas there so if she tak balik macam mana saya nak balik but you see, they had plan so they thought i would suspect smtg but nah i wouldnt be that smart. aaah, i think i remembered kas and rekka were laughing when kas replied me lake view. dammit kas.
when maryam reached not for long, she followed kas out and thats when kas told her the plan. and i was still innocently thought its a mini gathering. when they were back...... tada! here came the bday cake!!!!!!!! song. claps. cheers. hugs.
though not many managed to turn out but its a precious gathering cause all these years i couldnt really remember my school friends @ close friends @ best friends celebrating my bday, buying me cake, watching me blowing candles and cutting cake. it might sounded a lil' miserable but its because timing just not good - smtg that couldnt be avoided right so i didnt mind and most of the time i celebrated with family so didnt matter.
anyways, what made it more special was that ukraine ppl was there (that will be kas), u.k ppl was there ( that will be maryam) , soon to be u.s ppl was there(thats will be rekka) and the same old faces that i love - goayimm and jiemin were there. hahahaha..... =D
thanks a lot, my fellow friends!!!!! =)

*you know what kas, while i was closing my eyes sort of wishing before blowing just now, i ac didnt make any wishes cause i didnt know what to wish. i was still shocked and had brain jammed. hehe...

20082008

i'm not sure whether anyone realise the date today. it is superb - 20082008. psychology or superstitious or neither or whatever, i'm feeling good and it is definitely a brilliant start of my day. perhaps the date is another auspicious number apart from 080808. aah', thats superstitious! doesnt matter as loong as its positive ones.
but, my wantan mee mission still failed. aduhai. however, i'm fine with it, besok masih ada. (see,no wantan mee and i'm stil ok with it)
you know what, august is a great month because its august! hahaha....

they are seriously good

cool, super cool. i realised this sport today when i was staring at the tv. my tiny eyes were somehow widen and larger by few milimeters. and suddenly i could felt there's a force pulling my body from my lazy position on the couch to the tv screen. not only shocked to know there's such sports, i was amazed with the gymnas flying in the air with cool twists and turns and with their beautiful bodies. just a moment ago, i only learnt that gymnastic trampoline has been one of the olympics sports since 2000. damn! i'm really slow. and how come chinese are so good esp at this kind of games.





similarly to diving. guo jing jing is surely unbeatable. i think i'm in love with her, i mean her talent her skill and her dive. every dive she made were almost prefect - awesome postures, nice somersaults, fanstatic twists, fabulous turns and amazing landing with just only a mini lil' splash. WOW!

wantan mee - i'm coming

aah', gotta wake up early....wake up early....wake up early....wake up to get wantan mee. wake up wake up for wantan mee's sake! WAKE UP!!!!!

silver aint bad

owhhh...lee chong wei lost to lin dan in kinda short game. he certainly made a lot of mistakes and gave lin dan many free points but no doubt lin dan was in his good form tonight. well, malaysia would just settle with a silver. hrm.

a MUST watch match

wowee....chong wei smoothly cruised in finals. what a GReAT job! honestly i never expect such achievement from him, thought he will sink like the doubles but he definitely didn't disappoint all the ppl back in malaysia. salute to you dude!!!! you made me felt more proud being malaysian. i would love to see him standing tall with our national anthem played loud in the beijing university of technology gymnasium but at this point, win or lose, he is still the best. malaysia finally gains a medal and a spot in the 2008 olympics medals tally. yezzzzzzar......

dont miss the finals on sunday!

???

how angry will you be when the one you are talking to has done smtg wrong without he/she realised it?
so, with the anger, how angry will you get when somehow he/she gets to sense your anger and then innocently asked you what exactly that he/she did that made you angry?
will you be bother to tell the wrongs?
will you care to give him/her a chance for correction?
or will you just keep quiet and swallow all the anger by yourself?
and let the same whole thing repeats?
and then create unpleasant feelings in you?
and somehow somewhat ended up hating that person?

i dunno. think bout it.

yo!

no wonder i could feel something is not right, something is missing and something incomplete in the month of august. there was this thing that i usually did when august came. hah! its friendship day that i missed. i actually forgotten THAT DAY??!!! yo! and only realized it after 13 days. YO! -mo tak kau-

not a bad role model

michael phelps made swimming sound and look so easy. seeing him swim from one end to another end made me felt its possible for everyone to swim in that way. but the fact is, swimming is not easy especially for me. it took almost all my breathe to get myself move in the water. its good that i can reach till the middle of the pool. besides, swimming needs good coordination of all parts of body with i think i'm slighty (ok,maybe a lot) lack at. but be optimistic, at least i can swim now (i think i still can)
anyways, he's a good role model (his sports spirit) for me that anything can be achieved if work on it, have confident and faith. GO GO record breaker!!!

i wana watch

aiya! i will be missing the opening of olympics this friday. will be so busy how to watch and keep on track with the news. sad.

any kind soul willing to update me?

what a list!

this week is my fourth week of night t-baton training. tomorrow night will be the last cause on friday we will be heading to uitm seri iskandar and performing on saturday. thought after this will be free at least a lil but seems like i'm wrong. next week is convo week. so happen i'm involve in the convo celebration and digi fiesta. dunno how but i just get myself involved. and reports! *sigh. this week is odd week where 4 labs are arranged so nicely in 4 outta 5 days. luckily one lab canceled and but still tasks been assigned earlier SO makes not much difference ac. here's the summary of my work on hand that need to be submitted within 6days.

• tugasan 1 dan 2 pengujian, pengukuran dan penilaian pendidikan (4P)
• presentation 4P
• lab report of strategi pengajaran dan pembelajaran sains
• storyboard of my biology courseware
• proposal of the courseware
• lab report biology development
• presentation of gastrulation of frog embryo
• lab report biochemistry and microbiology
• lab report introductory chemistry 2

gosh! pretty long list huh.

almost *faint.

thats excluding my side tasks. if i include them then the list will on and on... oh god....

sick of human beings....

i guess its in nature that everyone has the urge to control everyone in the world and make them listen and follow. honestly, i’m tired of the nation news here. but politics are everywhere. i don’t hv to go far to witness the complexity of politics in my country, i can just see and experience it here in my everyday’s life.

one and closest is voluntary core i joined in my uni. in this core itself, politics and politics from the bottom till top and from top till bottom and it goes round and round. a simple decision from the top will affect the whole core and commands are commands for us. its not that i wana say the top people not smart but they are not in our positions and i understand its hard to come out with a wise and all people satisfactory decisions but at least...at least ask us what the hell that we want and tell us the plans, and not simply assume what we want and assume what’s best for us which actually not. this is what happened in my core now. its such a mess. it suppose to be one big family with cooperation, faith, love and care but now, jealousy, anger, hatred, frustration, dissatisfaction etc, all because of politics in upper organization and simply made decisions, all for the sake of their own and own platoon which caused the people at the bottom to suffer. and who’s the people at the bottom? WE! the core members from different batches.

i’m very calm now, perhaps i’m too tired for all these craps. in the core, i’m a follower so i’l play my part and be a good follower and do my best to whatever the commands come to me.

all i can say here is i’m tired. i’m tired of the people around. i’m tired of politics and i’m tired of those who think they are right all the time and those who think they have power and they can just simply control here and there. i’m just too tired to fight back and now i refuse to do anything but just stay back and do what i’m asked and what i’m supposed. giving in not because i’m afraid but because i don’t want to make things worse and increase the number of unhappy people.

just give me a break and stay away from me!

i’m sick of human beings. from the most unique and greatest creatures created by god, they just have to choose to turn out to be the most disastrous creatures. peculiar.

biological battery running low

its the fourth week of the semester and my energy level now is decreasing and keeps on decreasing. been training at night for the last 2 weeks. finally, performed on tuesday which was 2 days ago. it was good, we made an impressive opening which was essential to attract attentions and interests of the people there. however, i wasn’t satisfied with my performance that day. besides mentally exhausted, guess i was nervous cause the vip were just few steps away, ppl with cameras were just next to me and spectators were so so darn close that i was actually stunned for a few seconds. for goodness sake, my heart was pumping darn fast and my legs were actually shaking. my palms were sweating and i had difficulties to draw my baton. but thank goodness, i made no mistake which i still managed to maintain my great reputation in t-baton. hehe....

on the same day, i had biochemistry quiz. my phobia for chemistry still not over and this sem i hv to face 2 courses that have smtg to do with chemistry [gosh!, tak cukup lagi ke!] so, biochemistry and t-baton - 2 stuff to prepare and gotta chucked all the equations, theories and t-baton steps in my mind altogether on the day before.

less than 2 days, not even have enough time to charge myself and now training starts again every night from today onwards. this time is the preparation to perform in UiTM next week. trainings and trainings, programmes, quizzes, assignments and tests, all come one after another in a long continuous chain which is bonded well (wow, chemistry in my sentence! look at that man, chemistry!) anyways, i’m like halfway dying, not physically but mentally. i don’t know what the heck that tired my brain but i just unable to do much thinking now.

p/s i really feel very sorry for kas and aamreet that i probably cant go back anytime soon and most probably cant meet them too this year. forgive me, my fellow friends.....

unexpected gift from god - thank ya!

until now i still couldn’t believe the cert i was holding with my name (unfortunately wrongly spelt. cis!) was mine. never come across my mind that i would be receiving this cert. although the cert was made of some sort of low quality paper but the value of whatever printed on it was priceless and it did gave me a lil’ boost for this and coming sem. i’m very honoured to receive it even though i missed the cert presenting ceremony cause like i said earlier i never expect myself to be the one. so so!, now i’m really happy to share with everyone that reads this, the cert i received was written ‘pelajar terbaik kursus TBB 2033 semester 2 sesi 07/08 ’. i am really very proud of myself. Hehehehahahaha....... i do hope you can feel how i feel - the joy, the happines, the satisfaction and damn, it just feel so good. oh, TBB 2033 course is morphology and anatomy of plants. i guess every bio students would love to have such stuff.

shh shhh, come here come here (whispering) : what makes me more proud was that last sem there were 2 students with their pointers 4.00 and TBB was one of our major courses AND ME with pointers so much lower than them managed to beat top students in that. Goodness, it feels soooooooo gooooooody GOOD!!!! HahahahahahaHaahahahaHAHAHAHAHA.........ehem, cool down.

my team kata

now i can show you how my team did in last sukan perak. well, thats also our very last one after 4 times straight participating in that event (for me, jas and xin khai). wow, 4 times which equals to 8 years, dont play play... hahahaha....

here's our winning kata in women's team kata in super 4....enjoy!

in team kata, in the final round each team will have to perform bunkai. so did us and usually bunkai is what normally we the kata fighters look great and sometimes 'fake'. hehehe.... but when it comes to final, bunkai helps a lot in determining the champion. and with this bunkai, we (me, jas and amy) successfully grab the gold medals for the second times. so, may i present to you, our winning bunkai..... *tada*

i was seriously got kicked by jasmyin. ouch! painful one... btw,.. focus on the last technique where i rushed to jasmyin and squeezed her... how's my fall???? hehe, i love that the most.....

aduh...whats wrong with me?

was checking my bag for pendrive just now. searching and searching. searching and continue searching. digging and digging and continue digging. aik???? pendrive not in the place i normally kept??? shouldn't be. i was a lil nervous by then. when i managed to calm myself i did some mind tracking. darn!!!!! then i remembered i left it in shop and its been a week!!!!! i went to the shop last wednesday to do some printing for my report. was seriously rushing and gosh i forgot to cabut my pendrive out front the pc. what da!!!
going to check it out at the shop tmrw. please please...fingers crossed that its still there *sigh